According to popular culture, every woman has been dreaming of her wedding since childhood — a notion reinforced by fairytales and romantic comedies that end with the girl in a beautiful dress at the altar, as if marriage is a woman’s ultimate achievement. The wedding industry further promotes this idea, making it seem like your wedding should be something you eagerly anticipate. So, planning your wedding without feeling this required enthusiasm can be a lonely experience. But I want you to know — and this might sound strange coming from a wedding photographer — it’s perfectly fine if you’re not excited about having a wedding. I know I wasn’t.
My first memory of my husband and I talking about marriage is from the second anniversary of our first date. On a warm evening, we strolled along a boulevard somewhere in Vietnam. I still remember the excitement I felt imagining being married to him and building a life together. The topic of a wedding didn’t come up until months later, when we sat at our tiny kitchen table in Buenos Aires discussing what would make an acceptable wedding-day schedule. After that conversation, we didn’t revisit the subject until we actually started planning our wedding — three years later.
Throughout the entire process, I was excited about getting married but having a wedding seemed like an enormous obstacle I had to overcome. Back in 2016, long before the explosion of wedding inspiration on the internet and social media, our only reference points were the weddings of friends and family. These all followed an identical format that didn’t feel like us at all. So we decided to change things up — timeline, number of guests, the food we served.
Looking back on our wedding, I’m happy with how it turned out. We had a wonderful day surrounded by the people who mattered most to us at that time. Yet, I’m incredibly relieved that all of that is behind me. And it’s perfectly valid if you feel similar while planning your wedding. But I need you to know that it doesn’t have to be this way.
Looking back on our wedding, I’m happy with how it turned out. We had a wonderful day surrounded by the people who mattered most to us. Yet, I’m incredibly relieved it’s all behind me now. If you can’t wait until your wedding is over, know that your feelings are completely valid. But here’s the thing — your experience doesn’t have to mirror mine.
On a side note: you might wonder how I ever became a wedding photographer — a valid question, and one I asked myself for a long time. To be honest, it took me four years to find an answer, but ever since I found it, I completely fell in love with documenting weddings: besides creating beautiful photos for you to remember this special occasion, I hope to give you a better wedding planning experience than I had. Not as your wedding planner — trust me, there are many people better suited for that job — but as someone who provides a safe space. I help design weddings that you can genuinely look forward to, even if you’re not initially excited about having a wedding. And at the very least, I can take away your worries about being in front of the camera.
When you strip away all the presumptions and expectations around weddings, they’re something truly lovely. You get to spend the day with as many — or as few — of your loved ones, celebrating that you’ve found the one you want to build a life with. With all the possibilities available today, you can celebrate that moment exactly how you want. And I hope that will help you feel a little bit more excited about your wedding.
